College football has had one wild winter.
On the heels of the scandal that led to the firing of Kansas head football coach Mark Mangino, another shocking chapter to the story has been revealed. Numerous sources, including Mangino himself, have confirmed that he dick slapped quarterback Todd Reesing during halftime of their blowout loss to Texas.
For those who aren't familiar with the urban slang, a "dick slap" is defined as an action in which a man slaps someone or something with his penis. A "dick slap" can also be called a dick smack, penis slap, cock smack, or pecker slap.
Various accounts from inside the locker room claim that after a heated, vitriolic halftime speech, Mangino directed Reesing to sit on a bench directly in front of him. He then dropped his khaki pants to his ankles, pulled his BVD boxer shorts down to about his knees, grasped the base of his penis with his thumb and forefinger, and with a quick whipping motion, slapped his quarterback across the cheek with his member.
"It was awkward," one player recounted. "At first coach wasn't tall enough to reach his face, so he made two graduate assistants go find a stool. We all just stood around silently for about five minutes, stealing quiet glances at each other. I felt bad for Todd."
Another player thought the whole situation, "was really fucked up."
Kansas Athletic Director Lew Perkins was disappointed but not surprised when the story broke. "Unfortunately, the days of tough love and dick slapping are over," said Perkins. "You have to find other ways to get to your players, besides slapping their faces with your dick."
Mangino has been very honest and open about the incident. "Do I wish I handled it differently?" he responded. "Sure, I wish I would have dick slapped the whole (expletive) team. Then maybe we wouldn't have lost by four (expletive) touchdowns." Mangino went on to point out Oklahoma coach Bob Stoops, under which Mangino served as Offensive Coordinator, frequently used the dick slap to motivate players. That is, until the Sooner adminstration found out and ordered him to stop. "People wonder why OU has struggled in big games," added Mangino. "Well, now you know."
Mangino went on discussing different aspects of the dick slap for an uncomfortably long time. He even admitted to practicing on tackling dummies hidden around his office and home. When asked if Mangino would be willing to give up dick slapping in order to coach again, he grew very pensive. After a long pause, he wistfully asked, "would a cadet give up his gun to become a cop?"
One can only wonder what the future holds for this strong-willed, dick-slapping leader of young men.
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