Just when we thought the offseason couldn't get any worse for the New Orleans Saints organization, it has.
Fresh off the heels of "Bountygate" and alleged illegal wiretapping, ESPN's "Outside the Lines" is reporting that the Saints not only orchestrated the cold-blooded killing of one of our nation's most beloved presidents, but were also the secret masterminds behind the most shocking political scandal of all time. They also kill puppies.
Never-before-seen documents found in Lee Harvey Oswald's house reveal a clandestine connection between Oswald and the Saints front office. According to the documents, he would have received an "extra bonus" had he torn John F. Kennedy's ACL muscle.
As for Watergate, new information obtained by "Outside the Lines" reveals that there were actually six men involved in the initial break-in. That sixth man was none other than former Saints Quarterback Archie Manning. When asked if he was involved in the Superdome wiretapping, Archie responded, "can we talk about Peyton's neck instead?"
To make matters worse, every single person who works for the Saints, from the equipment manager to Drew Brees, takes part in New Orleans' largest puppy killing ring; an unconscionable activity in which participants literally stand inside a ring and kill puppies.
The Saints front office has declined to comment on these new allegations. Needless to say, their offseason roller coaster ride is far from over.
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